Bravery and Falling in Love
In mid-December, I tuned into Metatron just to check in with him, since I hadn't officially channeled him (outside of prviate readings) for a while. He told me that he and I still have a lot of work to do together. He also said that he and my spirit friends had a gift for me coming soon. I remembered the first part because it is part of my life's calling, but promptly forgot the idea of the gift...after all, it could have been anything, even a wonderful flower or an unexpected check in the mail, and I don't like to have high expectations of good things coming to me. Though Metatron has never steered me wrong even in very improbable situations.
Then in January I met someone and fell in love with him. It has been a long time since I've been in a relationship--two years, to be more or less precise--and I've been glad of the time off. And for that matter, I wasn't looking for anything when this happened. In fact, I was just having fun playing a massive multi-player online role-playing game (called Final Fantasy XI, or FFXI for short). A massive multi-player online role-playing game (MMORPG) is a computer game in which you connect to a central set of computers over the Internet to play. One difference from regular computer games is that many--in fact, most--of the other characters in the game are being played by other real people. who could be anywhere; in this case, mostly either in Japan or the US. It is a very social game as a result.
While playing this game, I met this man and we started to chat. Nothing unusual there; I'm a personable person and one of the things I love about this game is the social aspect. But things started to click with us pretty quickly.
I should mention that there were a whole series of events and decisions that we each made that all had to fall in place in order for us to meet each other. For one thing, the game is duplicated on about 30 computer systems, each of which is separate from all the others. So to start with, we had to each have had the luck to have started playing the game on the same computer system. And the choices and decisions went from there...each having to be made in just one way by each of us for us to even run into each other and start to talk. All of these fell into place.
I won't give all the details because they are mostly of interest to the two of us. The progression was essentially from in-game chat to talking on the phone while playing the game to just talking on the phone and finally, to him flying out to California from 3,000 miles away to meet me. We both knew things were progressing faster than is usual for many relationships, and we talked about whether we wanted to put the brakes on or just follow our hearts. We both decided to just follow our hearts, but to make sure that we were truly listening to that inner guidance and the voice of wisdom that we all have access to within. And we did, and have, and will continue to do so, to the point where we were brave enough to say what was in our hearts before we met in person, which was that we loved each other.
We were both nervous about meeting in person--we only had some photos to go on for how we looked--and we are both realistic enough to know that what we thought we had might not be there when physical reality was added to the equation.
We needn't have worried, but it was healthy that we did. And in fact the entire relationship is healthy and wholesome. Unlike all my previous relationships, in which I ignored anything from a handful to a whole boatload of red flags, there have been no red flags with this man. He is different from any man I have ever been with before, and is so incredibly compatible with and perfect for me that all I can say is "Thank you" to the universe.
Which leads back to Metatron's gift. At one point when talking with my love, I said that he was a gift to me. And suddenly I remembered what Metatron had said, and realized that this man is indeed the gift that Metatron had told me was coming. So I say "thank you" to Metatron and all other spirit friends who had a hand in this, and I encourage anyone who may be struggling with relationships or lack thereof to have faith that the perfect person does exist for you. You just need to be clear in your heart and willing to be brave when needed.
Bravery means mostly overcoming your own fears and saying what you know is the right thing to say even if it requires a struggle--even a hard struggle--for you to do so. I have already had to do so a few times. I was afraid of his reaction if I spoke up, but I knew that if I wanted the relationship to continue to grow stronger and deeper, I had to share everything that related to the two of us, including uncomfortable feelings and feelings I would rather have hidden.
Which leads to another aspect of relationships that many people don't realize is important: A relationship needs to be founded on trust, the deeper and more absolute the better--and on good communication and, of course, love, honesty, and respect.
I trust this man more than I have ever trusted anyone before, and having this trust, I realize how much I ignored my inner senses before in previous relationships, including the fact that I came to feel in each relationship, based on their repeated words, actions, and behavior, that the man I was with at the time could not be fully trusted. And trust isn't just a matter of whether the person is truthful. It is also a matter of whether they are on your side and can be relied upon to support and defend you; be loyal to you; not turn on your privately or, worse yet, in public. It means that you know they have good intentiosn toward you and actually mean you well. I am sorry that it took me this long to figure all this out and to realize that I have never had this before in a relationship, but I am joyful that I finally do and that I can tell the difference because I have had the previous experiences to compare this one with.
I am not saying that others need to have bad relationships to have a good one--many people don't--but what I will say is that if you want a good relationship, the place to start is inside yourself. Pay attention to what you are feeling and thinking, and act on what you think is the right thing to do. Set some guidelines for what you will and won't tolerate in a relationship, then stick by them. And hold out for the best. You might as well.
Comments
I wanted to write a comment on this but I'm having such a hard time putting my feelings into words.
What a great way to meet! I'm so happy for you two. Jealous, almost. But no one ever gets to decide how you're going to meet the person you choose to be with, it just happens the way it happens to. So any jealousy is unfounded and pointless.
Your talk of trust really helped me change how I see the relationship I'm in, and how I act toward my fiance.
You made me realize that even though I love and trust her wholeheartedly, I'm not showing her that I'm worth being trusted.
Even some simple words can change the way things look.
Posted by: Bloodycrow | March 24, 2004 01:42 AM