Examining the Self

Growing up with poison

What‘s it like growing up with an emotionally abusive parent? Imagine that every meal you eat is poisoned. Not enough to kill you, but enough to make you feel nauseated all the time. Every meal makes you sick, sometimes so sick you are afraid you‘re going to die. If you try to tell the person […]

Are we maturing or just getting older?

Are we maturing or just getting older? You might be asking, “What’s the difference?” We’re just getting older if we just live life as it comes. Life lived that way tends to repeat itself. We make the same mistakes. We hurt the same people in the same ways. We think of ourselves in the same […]

Mindfulness and the idealization process in a nutshell

Why do people turn against other people they admired, or against groups they belong to? It’s the idealization process. Here’s how it goes. Individually, you admire certain qualities in another person and you want to actualize those qualities in yourself. But you are unconscious of the idealization you’ve made–that you’ve put that person on a pedestal and […]

My Book on Forgiveness is in Print!

The Forgiving Lifestyle: How to Forgive Everyone (Including Yourself) is finally in print and available on Amazon.com. When I wrote this book, I made sure that everything I wrote came from a place of peace and compassion. I felt this was essential because this is, after all, a book about forgiveness. My first readers reported that […]

Silence and Friendship

Everyone has a set of guidelines, conscious or not, about friendship—what friendship is, what kinds of behavior are acceptable, what kinds of traits a good friend has. Those guidelines usually allow for imperfections as well—after all, none of us is 100% compatible, and we all make mistakes. Along those lines, I once told a tarot card reader […]

The Windows of Our Souls, or, Finding Meaning Part 2

“There is nothing either good nor bad but thinking makes it so.” Hamlet Act 2, scene 2 It is often said that the eyes are the windows of the soul. The idea is that when we look into someone’s eyes, we can see their soul—who they really are. But this goes the other way as well: when […]