How To Save Money #19: Shop Around Before Buying

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When we buy impulsively, we may end up regretting the purchase. It might be more money than we really wanted to spend on that item, or we might find we don’t like that item as much as we thought we would, or we find that we could have gotten it for less somewhere else—sometimes a lot less.

So before you purchase something, look online, browse locally, compare all costs (including taxes, shipping and handling, the gasoline it would take to drive to purchase it, etc.) before deciding something is a bargain. Look at unit pricing! The large economy size isn’t always a better deal; sometimes two smaller containers of something are less expensive per ounce or unit than one larger one.

After you’ve done your research, use a cooling off period before you buy; that is, give yourself a day or two, or a week before you purchase. You may find you don’t want it as badly as you thought.

Also, don’t let yourself be stampeded into purchasing something under some kind of deadline. Be especially suspicious of sales people trying to tell you the opportunity will never come again. In the vast majority of cases, whatever that item is, you will have the chance to buy it later or somewhere else, perhaps at the same price or even a better one. 

Silence and Friendship

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Everyone has a set of guidelines, conscious or not, about friendship—what friendship is, what kinds of behavior are acceptable, what kinds of traits a good friend has. Those guidelines usually allow for imperfections as well—after all, none of us is 100% compatible, and we all make mistakes.

Along those lines, I once told a tarot card reader that there are a few things I consider essential to friendship: honesty, give and take (instead of a one-way street, where one person is always giving and the other always taking), and a certain level of good-heartedness (which isn’t to be confused with having a good nature; someone can be unsocial and difficult and still be good-hearted).

The tarot card reader had different standards. None of what I felt was essential to a good relationship was on her list. This surprised me, especially when she particularly mentioned the honesty part as being “a lot to ask.” What kind of people did she hang out with that made honesty a lot to ask? More importantly, how could she have a relationship with dishonest people? Or rather, how could she have a good relationship with dishonest people? And for that matter, if she felt honesty was a lot to ask, what did that say about her own level of honesty?

Trust and honesty go hand in hand; without honesty, you can’t have trust; without trust, you can’t have a friendship.

(As an aside, although I had thought she and I might become friends, after that conversation, I realized we couldn’t be.)

I’m not saying I expect my friends to be proponents of radical honesty. But, at least for my closest friends, I want to feel comfortable talking about any subject, especially if it is something personal about myself or someone else. And I want to feel that what is being said to me is a honest reflection of what my friends think and feel. I have never liked the feeling that there are just some topics I can’t talk about with someone close to me. And I want to feel that I can trust my friends to keep things I say confidential. Having to watch what I say and avoid certain topics of conversation means (to me, anyway) that we don’t have a completely free and open discourse.

But sometimes people just can’t hear something about themselves. And by “can’t,” I mean literally are unable to. (Other times, they don’t want to hear it and make it clear that it isn’t a topic you can talk about with them. That’s different from what I am about to discuss.) I was thinking about this today because there is someone who was once very dear to me for a number of years whom I dropped (after some soul-searching) for this very reason. She was wonderful in many ways, but she had a habit of making snarky little demeaning digs at me, which were infrequent at first but got worse (both in frequency and meanness of the comments) as our friendship went on. Finally, it got bad enough that I tried to talk with her about it a few times, but I got nowhere.

It wasn’t that she denied making the comments, or that she explained that the comments were justified and therefore allowable within the bounds of honesty, both of which I expected. Instead, she went completely blank when I tried to talk with her about her comments, as though her consciousness went elsewhere, or as though I had suddenly started talking in a language she didn’t understand. It was weird. She was at such a profound level of denial that I still have a hard time fathoming it. How can you not know what you are saying and doing? And how could we talk about her hurtful comments if she wasn’t even letting herself know she was making them?

So I had three options:

  • continue to associate with her, accepting that she was doing something hurtful to me that we couldn’t talk about;
  • tell her the friendship was off, without being able to tell her why;
  • or (and this was my choice) stop reaching out to her, stop calling her, stop sending her email, and stop visiting her, and see what happened.

It saddened me to say good-bye to her in my heart. I had learned a lot from her, and loved her, and still love her. And I won’t demean her by saying she didn’t love me, because I think she did, but when I dropped her, she did not, as I would have, call me to find what was up, or to see if I was okay. She sent an email three months later to a list of email contacts, including me, telling everyone she was moving, and that was it. I thought at first that she had dropped the friendship too, but some years later, when I sent her an email to see how she was doing, she replied and said in passing that she never understood what had happened to our friendship. By that statement, she might have been asking me indirectly what happened, but I didn’t see any increase in her awareness in her email (she made some of the same kinds of digs she had before), so I could no more explain then than I had been able to when I ended the friendship.

Which leads to the last thing I want to say today on this topic. I remember reading once, many years ago, that the more mature person in a relationship has the greater responsibility of doing the right thing. This is obvious with a parent and a child; your child may scream unpleasant things at you in anger, but you, as the adult, are responsible for responding like an adult, not like a child. It is less obvious, but just as apt, to say that if someone you are in a relationship with (family, friend, lover, co-worker…) does something immature or unconscious, and you are aware of it, you are responsible for responding with maturity and awareness rather than in kind. If there is a large age difference between you and your friends (where you are the older one), and especially when they are overall a settled, mature bunch, it can be hard sometimes to remember that they are young and have not had the years of learning from experience that you have. I sometimes have to remind myself, when people I know do something immature, that they are young, that we all make mistakes, and that mistakes are part of the process of living, learning, and growing up. I try to make the same allowance for myself when I make a mistake too.

How To Save Money #17: Don’t Go to the Movies

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I wish I didn’t have this advice to give. I love going to a movie theater and watching a movie on the big screen. But nowadays, at $10 a ticket or more, and paying for three people, I think long and hard before I go see a movie in a theater. Instead, I wait until it comes out on DVD, then rent it at RedBox for a dollar and a bit (or watch it on Netflix streaming, if it is available, which it seldom is. It seems to me that Netflix streaming mostly offers the B movies; if you want the good stuff, you have to pay the premium price for the DVD rental service).

By waiting until the movie is out on DVD, not only do I save a lot of money, I also get to hear peoples’ reactions and read reviews; sometimes I decide that I don’t want to see the movie at all. And even when I still want to see the movie, instead of paying for one viewing for three people, I can save my money and purchase the DVD when it comes out and potentially watch it many times. (My rule of thumb for purchasing a movie: if I think I will watch it enough that purchasing it is less than the price of renting it repeatedly, I’ll consider buying it.)

If I count the cost of drinks and popcorn and candy and the other overpriced, empty calories for sale at the theater, I could buy two DVDs. Or I could take everyone out for a nice meal instead.

And many movies lose nothing by being viewed on your television screen instead of on the big screen. With few exceptions, talking head movies, romantic comedies, mysteries, supernatural, horror, and the like fit into that category. Though some movies are worth seeing on the big screen, such as action films, films with sweeping vistas, and some animated features (such as anything by Pixar and many things by its now-parent studio, Disney). 

And it is also true that going to see a movie in the theater with friends and family can be fun. (Though staying at home and having a movie night can be a lot more fun—and much more comfortable.)

Still, if you want to see a movie in the theater, you can save money by going to a matinee instead of an evening show, and by eating a good meal (or at least a good snack) before you go so you aren’t tempted to buy theater food.

Panhandlers

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The other night, my partner and I were accosted in a parking lot by a young woman who gave a good song and dance about how she and her female cousin were out of gas and needed to get back to Vacaville (a two-hour drive away). Could we spare anything? Anything at all would help. She gave just enough details to make the story plausible, including that their vehicle, a Silverado, was borrowed from her aunt, and that her aunt had given them $20 for gas but it wasn’t enough, etc. etc. etc. Normally I don’t give money to panhandlers, but I gave her what I had, and so did my partner, though my instincts were telling me there was something fishy about her story.

As soon as she had shaken us down for what she could, this accomplished con artist and her male companion, who had been careful to remain out of sight until then, climbed into a white, late-model Toyota and drove away. So, no female cousin, no Silverado, no desperate need for gas.

It bothered me that I had let myself be taken advantage of; clearly she was lying and needed the money for something she was sure others wouldn’t approve of. Drugs, alcohol, a gambling debt—who knows? The point is that she lied to get money for nothing; that she took advantage of good-hearted people; that she felt it was all right to do so.

This is why I don’t like to give to panhandlers no matter how pitiful their story scrawled on a piece of cardboard. My kind heart would love to give what I have; my cooler, more rational head knows that many of the people I see panhandling are not truly in need, or need the money for lifestyles that I prefer not to support. I have no problem with people destroying their lives with drugs or alcohol or whatever—it’s a waste of their lives, but it is their choice to make and none of my business as long as they don’t harm others—but I don’t want to fund those choices.

In addition, I never know whether someone really needs the money for what I would be willing to help with, such as food and shelter. If I could be sure they were going to use the money for those needs, I would be happy to help. But I don’t know. Here are some personal experiences that have taught me to be a little less trusting and a little more cautious:

  • When I was a child, the father of a family we knew, a man who had a large income, decided to dump it all—wife, son, daughter, job, home, and all—and go live under a bridge. (Literally.) He didn’t have any alcohol or mental problems that I know of; my mother later told me that he just got tired of it all. That was a choice he made. Should we as a society have then supported him?
  • I read an article in the late 1980s that said a good panhandling position in Santa Cruz could net a person $40,000 free and clear. That’s $40,000 tax-free. $40,000 that they could keep to themselves and spend as they like, not kicking any back into the public good. In the late 1980s, that was a very good income.
  • My brother once had a neighbor who owned his house but got his wherewithal by panhandling at busy intersections. He carried home large, heavy athletic bags filled with money.
  • A neighbor of mine who has lived in the same house for years often panhandles at a busy intersection nearby. I don’t know whether he owns his house, but I doubt he is in desperate straits.
  • And we’ve seen panhandlers trying to hide the fact that they are talking on their smartphones.

Should we as a society take care of those who cannot take care of themselves—the temporarily or permanently disabled, the elderly who have been productive their entire lives, and now cannot afford the basics of life? Yes.

Should we take care of those who are temporarily down on their luck? Yes, for a year or two or even three. And we should do what we can to help such people find jobs.

But should we support people who are capable of working but choose not to, finding that the public largess is just fine for them? No. And should we give money to panhandlers? No.

Many are looking for something for nothing, and are taking advantage of kind-hearted people like me. Most people don’t want to be rude or seem to be hard-hearted, so they give to panhandlers, thereby helping to perpetuate the problem. So I choose not to give to panhandlers. Instead, I give more wisely (most of the time, anyway; clearly I was not wise in that recent parking lot). For example, Raley’s, a local grocery store, collects cash donations to food for families. 100% of the donated funds go to food; Raley’s absorbs all costs of administering the funds they collect. I am sure it is a good tax write-off, but they don’t have to do it, and it goes through reputable distribution centers. And I give to other reputable charities as well.

So the next time you are tempted to hand a few coins to a panhandler, think again. Are you giving because you think you are making a positive difference in that person’s life, or because you can’t say no? If the latter, there are many fine charities that you can donate to. That way you can be assured that the money is doing some modicum of good. But check them out first; there are many disreputable charities that, like a corporate kind of panhandler, have the sole purpose of separating you from your money without doing anything good with it.

 

How To Save Money #16: Turn Off the Lights

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I’d like to think that everyone is already making this a habit, but experience has taught me otherwise. You can save a lot of money by turning off your lights when you leave a room. Or the television, or stereo, or other electronic device. Or powering down your computer instead of leaving it on when you walk away for more than ten minutes. (Though if your computer takes 30 minutes to boot up, like mine used to, you might think twice about that.)

In addition to turning off the lights, consider replacing your light bulbs with more energy-efficient ones as well. I don’t recommend compact fluorescent bulbs because they are a health and environmental hazard (they have mercury inside, and it is the rare person who bothers to dispose of them properly; also, if a bulb breaks in your house, now you have fine mercury dust in your home). But the new LED light bulbs, though outrageously expensive, will last for thousands of hours, so it might be worth considering one of those to replace a light bulb in a fixture you use every day. Or start the transition by buying lower-wattage incandescents.

Another thing you can do is plug a lot of your appliances and electronic equipment into a power strip. Many electronic devices use electricity even when they are turned off. If you have them plugged into a power strip, when you aren’t using the device, turn the power strip off. That prevents the device from drawing residual power. That alone can save a lot of energy. I don’t recommend this if your device has settings that have to be redone every time your device is completely unplugged, which is what plugging it into a power strip, and then turning off the power strip, is essentially the equivalent of. But if you can stand your device flashing 12:00 at you all the time, then you can save a lot of money this way.

It may take some time to develop the habit of turning off the lights and other electronics when you leave a room. And it can cost a bit (and therefore take some time) to switch over to LEDs. Common sense, not to mention common courtesy, suggests that turning off the lights is the job of whomever is the last to leave a room.

You will be amazed at how much less your electric bill can be if you make these practices a habit.

Finding Meaning Part 3

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You can find meaning everywhere by knowing yourself and noticing the little things that are easy to dismiss, pass off as coincidence.

By “knowing yourself,” I mean understanding what is significant to you. Are there certain numbers that mean something to you? Symbols? Images? Sounds, names, tastes, colors? Events?

For example, let’s say a particular number is significant to you; if you are Biblically minded, perhaps 666, the number of the beast, casts a shadow in your mind when you see it. Let’s say that you are interacting with someone, and 666 comes up somehow—perhaps in their home address or their phone number. You might miss this fact entirely, or, even if you notice it, you could dismiss this as coincidence. It very well could be coincidence, but perhaps it isn’t. It wouldn’t hurt to take a cautious look at that person and your interactions with them.

Or, perhaps you aren’t interacting with anyone that you know is associated with that number, but bad things are happening to you or those you love, and the number shows up in various places—a restaurant bill, someone’s license plate number, etc. You could take that as a sign that there is someone in your life somewhere who is trying to do you harm. It wouldn’t have to be someone you know; if you are part of a group or organization, for example, there could be an opposing group or organization.

Likewise, if there are numbers or images you associate with good things, and those keep showing up in your life, you could choose to take those as signs that things are going your way or that there are people who are meaning you well. Or perhaps that there is something you could benefit from by paying attention to. For example, many people have a rule of three: if they hear something three times in a short period of time, say, a book or movie recommendation, they take it as a sign to read the book or go see the movie because they are being told there is a longer message in the book or movie that is useful to them.

As another example, let’s say you feel a special affinity with a particular animal; perhaps the skunk or fox. You might not normally see either where you live (perhaps you live in a highly urban area), but nature has her way of bringing her messages to you regardless of where you live. You might see an image of a skunk on a billboard or on television, or hear the word, or see black and white stripes that are reminiscent of a skunk’s striping. You could choose to ignore those images, but you can also choose to view them as a message bringing to you whatever meaning the skunk carries for you. If you are in a highly urbanized area and you see an actual living skunk (though perhaps not in a zoo—though maybe even then), then that could be taken as a message that is practically being shouted at you.

Whatever sign or symbol you see, notice. Listen. Spend a few minutes thinking about it. Maybe connect it with other signs or symbols you’ve seen reaching you. Is there a pattern? Has something come up several times recently, perhaps in conversation, on the Internet, on television, in a book, on the radio, on a billboard, in a text, in a tweet, on FaceBook, in email? What feeling do you get when that happens? Are you being warned? Admonished? Encouraged? Praised? Loved? Guided in a particular direction, or guided to (or away from) a particular person, place, or thing?

The habit of finding meaning can make your life richer, fuller, and more satisfying. Even if we are ultimately wrong and there is no meaning to life, isn’t it better to live as though there were? And if there is, isn’t it better to find it than to ignore it?

Driving for Better Mileage

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In my previous post on reducing transportation costs, I suggested using driving techniques that can increase your fuel mileage. In this post, I describe the techniques that have saved me a lot of money over time. For example, I get 26 MPG on the freeway in my SUV, and 18 MPG in the city. Although the city mileage isn’t that impressive relative to other kinds of vehicles, people don’t usually think of SUVs getting that kind of mileage at all. To prove that it isn’t just that my vehicle is magically more fuel efficient, other people driving my SUV consistently get about 18 on the freeway and 15 in the city. So it has to be my driving techniques and not the vehicle itself, which means you, too, can get better mileage in your vehicle. Here are some of the easiest methods to use. Remember to always be safe and alert!

Accelerate and Decelerate Smoothly and Slowly

Instead of tromping on the gas or brakes, accelerate and decelerate smoothly and slowly, both on the freeway and in town. This also means looking ahead to see what’s going on. If you see brake lights in the distance, or if a traffic light down the road is yellow, start slowing down right away (but slowly; if it is safe to do so, lift your foot slightly from the gas pedal instead of starting to brake).

If the brake lights mean a highway slowdown, you are better prepared to come to stop and you save fuel by decelerating smoothly.

If it is a traffic light, it might cycle completely through yellow to red to green by the time you arrive, in which case you spare some fuel by not having to come to a full stop. But even if you need to stop, you will have saved some fuel by not continuing to keep your foot on the gas pedal until the last minute.

If you are at a full stop, when the light changes to green again, take a second before you accelerate again (and accelerate smoothly; not need to jackrabbit out of there). When taking that second before you start up again, look around to make sure that there aren’t any last-minute light-jumpers; the life you save could well be your own. Also, accelerating smoothly instead of tromping on the gas pedal saves fuel.

When braking, keep in mind something I read long ago: every time you step on the brakes, you are magically changing fuel into brake lining dust (and thereby worsening your fuel efficiency). And I will add that it also reduces the life of your brakes; add up a lot of unnecessary braking and you will be replacing your brakes a lot more often than you need to—and that’s an easily avoided cost.

Turn Off the Engine if Idling for Longer Than a Minute

If you are idling more than a minute, turn your engine off. Turning your engine on takes a bit more fuel than just running it, but if your engine is going to be idling for longer than a minute, you offset the cost of starting up again by the fuel you save from just sitting there with your engine running.

Drive Smoothly; Don’t Change Your Speeds a Lot

Maintain a smooth, steady speed, rather than speeding up and slowing down a lot. I.e., don’t speed up to 55 mph, then slow down to 50, then up to 55 again.

Related to this: if you maintain a speed by pressing your foot on the gas pedal for a few seconds, then lifting your foot off for a few seconds, then pressing down again, etc., consider learning how to keep a smooth, steady pressure on the gas pedal to maintain the speed you want.

Cruise control on the highway is an excellent option for maintaining a constant speed, though you still need to pay attention and be ready to respond to any situation. (Also, if your car has an overdrive, use it. You’ll notice your fuel mileage goes way up.)

Driving the speed limit will save you some fuel as well.

Keep Your Car and Tires Maintained

A well-running engine is more fuel efficient than one that is not. And tires with the proper pressure are safer, and might save you a bit of fuel as well.

 

How To Save Money #15: Reduce Transportation Costs

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One way to save a fair chunk of money every year is to reduce your transportation costs. A vehicle is one of the larger investments you make. Here are some easy things to do to keep your costs down:

  • Keep your vehicle for a longer time.
  • Keep your vehicle maintained.
  • When it is time to replace your vehicle, buy used instead of new.
  • Be smart about vehicle loans.
  • Save money with everyday choices.

Keep Your Vehicle Longer

When I was younger, I knew a family that purchased a new car every year. They didn’t need a new car; the father just liked the idea. And he wasn’t the only one.

In these times, this practice is much less common, but there are still people who want to buy a new car every few years or as soon as they pay off the loan on their current car.

But if you keep your car longer, the average cost per year of that car will decrease. Let’s say you purchased a new car with a loan of $20,000, paid the loan in full in five years, and then immediately purchased another new car, again for $20,000, and again kept it for five years before selling and buying yet another new car. That’s $4,000 you are making in payments every year, year after year. Or in other words, the price of the car is $4,000 a year. (I’m not including the price of fuel, maintenance, insurance, and so on, not to mention depreciation. Here is a more thorough look at the costs of purchasing a new [or newer] car, plus some handy tools for calculating the true costs of ownership.)

But what if you kept that same car for ten years? In this highly simplified example, you make car payments of $4,000 a year for five years, and then you have no car payments for five years. Averaged out over ten years, the price of that car decreases to $2,000 a year.

Keep Your Vehicle Maintained

Your car will last longer with fewer repairs if you keep it maintained. That means regular oil changes as well as other recommended regular maintenance.

For oil changes, you can generally save money—sometimes a lot of money—by using a good mechanic rather than one of those oil-changing places. (This advice assumes you have an honest, reliable, and skilled mechanic—granted, they can be hard to find.) Those oil-changing places may sound cheap, but they will do their best to sell you on services you don’t want or need. Your mechanic won’t. And as a bonus, for no extra charge, your mechanic may check other points of your car while changing the oil. Mine does that and also does a road test. At times, these extra tests have caught a problem early enough that I could pay for a simple repair, saving me the price of much more costly repairs down the road. (And in one case, possibly saving my life, as a potentially hazardous problem was found early.)

Buy Used Instead of New

As soon as you purchase a brand-new car, the value of that car drops through instant depreciation, sometimes dramatically. Even if you were to try to sell that new car that same day, you would take a loss, because now you are selling a used rather than new car. You can save yourself that value drop by purchasing a used car. Yes, your used car will continue to depreciate, but in most cases more sedately than the instant drop when you purchase a new car.

When you are purchasing a used car, be canny. Some factors that affect depreciation are how much in demand a particular model is, safety and reliability records, recalls, and the like. So do your research to find a car that will hold its value better.

Also, you will generally find better prices with a private party than through a dealership, but be wary of frauds and lemons; always have your mechanic check out a used car before you purchase it. It may cost $100 for that mechanic’s check, but that $100 may save you thousands. If the person you want to purchase from is unwilling to have a mechanic check out the car, that tells you something right there.

Use online resources to figure out what that car is really worth. Kelley Blue Book and Edmunds are two good sources. Most of us have inflated ideas of how much our used car should be worth; using these resources, we can make a good argument for a price that is fair to both parties. Also, for a very low fee, Consumer Reports offers a car pricing service for new and used cars.

Be Smart About Loans

It’s best if you can pay cash for your car, but most people aren’t going to be in the position to do that. But if you get a car loan, you can still be smart about it. Some things to keep in mind:

  • Keep the loan as short-term as possible—no more than three years is best. Can’t afford making the payments on your proposed new car if it is only a three-year loan? Buy a less expensive car.
  • Check out different loan offerings before committing to one. Even if a car dealer offers what sounds like a great interest rate on a loan, it may not be the best deal in the long run. For one thing, they might convince you to buy a car based on what the monthly payments will be, so that you don’t negotiate for a lower overall cost.
  • Make a 20% downpayment, and pay cash for the extras (tax, licensing, etc.).

Oh, and while we’re at it, don’t trade in your old vehicle, but instead sell it yourself. The dealer will do his or her level best to give you the very least amount of money for your old car; it’s another way to increase their profits—pay you as little as possible, then mark it up by thousands of dollars.

If you don’t want the hassle of selling your vehicle yourself, at least use the resources mentioned above (Kelley Blue Book and Edmunds, and the Consumer Reports car buying guides and pricing service) so you can come armed to the negotiating table.

Save Money with Everyday Choices

There are several things you can do to save money every day:

  • Use alternative means of transportation, such as the bus, carpool, train, etc.
  • Buy an electronic toll collection device such as the San Francisco Bay Area’s FasTrak. Even if you only use it a few times a year, there is no ownership cost and you will save a few dollars. If you use it more often, those dollars will add up fast. Plus you can use the lane(s) reserved for those using the toll collection device, which means you get through the toll area faster (sometimes much faster), saving you time and fuel.
  • Combine errands so that you aren’t making multiple trips when one will do.
  • Plan your errand runs so you aren’t zig-zagging around, but instead are driving the shortest distance between each place you need to go.
  • Use driving methods that get more miles per gallon (such as accelerating and slowing gradually).