The Windows of Our Souls, or, Finding Meaning Part 2

“There is nothing either good nor bad but thinking makes it so.” Hamlet Act 2, scene 2

It is often said that the eyes are the windows of the soul. The idea is that when we look into someone’s eyes, we can see their soul—who they really are. But this goes the other way as well: when we look out of our eyes, we are seeing with our souls, but we are seeing through a framework—a window frame, if you will—that limits what we see. All our habits of thinking, all the decisions we have made about what the world is, color or even filter out things that don’t fit that reality.

When I wrote my post on finding meaning, I knew I was just touching the very tip of the iceberg. I could write an entire book on the topic, exploring such ideas as what meaning is, why meaning adds value to our lives, and, perhaps most usefully, in what various and practical ways we can learn to find meaning in our lives.

But since I have about half  dozen other projects I’m working on now, I am going to spend a little time now and then writing Web log posts that add to the idea of finding meaning in life.

To return to the “windows of the soul” idea, it might be useful to explain how I see our existence in the physical world. First, I believe that we are all souls having a human experience. (We aren’t necessarily all human souls having a human experience, but that is a topic for another time.) Our physical being arises out of our soul’s creation.

Some people see it the other way around; that we are physical beings who have some component called a soul; our identity is the physical being, not the spiritual one. They talk about “my soul” instead of “my body,” and think that when the body dies, so does the soul.

Which leads to the second idea I hold about our existence (and, by the way, I do not think I am the only one with these ideas! Nor are these ideas new; they have been around for millenia), which is that our souls are eternal and indestructible. We choose to come into this world, live a life in a physical way, then return to another place that encompasses our physical existence, but that has other characteristics that are non-physical. Both in this physical world and in that other world, we have experiences that affect us, and to which we respond. (As an aside, there are many other worlds, which we can call dimensions, planes of existence, Candyland—whatever you wish to call them, they are infinite and infinitely varied. But the multiverse is not today’s topic.)

And it is in that responding that we learn and grow. How we choose to think about and respond to anything gives us further experiences that we can learn from as well.

For a very simple example, let’s say a man is with his date at a restaurant, and the restaurant is out of the meal he wanted to order. He could choose to go with the flow and order something different, or he could choose to be mildly disappointed or annoyed, or he could choose to be quite angry about it and to berate the wait person or even get up and leave. Or stay, order something else, but leave a small tip. None of those options are required by the situation; all those responses would be arising out of his beliefs and attitudes; his internal architecture, if you will.

And here is where having a commitment to finding meaning in life comes in. If this man believes that there is meaning to everything, then he is more likely to ask himself, “What is the meaning in this situation?” And his response to the situation could be added to the question as well. He could ask himself, “Why am I angry?” (or even “Why am I not angry?”). The answers to his questions, the answers that add meaning to his life, could be anything; it could be a personal insight, it could be an insight about the person he is with, it could be an insight about food, it could be an insight about the nature of life and the universe—that part is individual. Nor is there necessarily just one meaning to be seen. In approaching life this way, people add layers of meaning to everything in their lives. And any meaning can change as new layers are added to it, and as more connections are found between it and something else.

Sometimes, people choose not to find meaning in and learn from their experiences. They instead choose to think that things just happen and there is not only nothing that can be done about it; that whatever that experience was, it was just another confirmation of the belief that we are rudderless ships being tossed on the cruel seas of life. But that is just how they are looking at life; that isn’t the truth about life—except in that, because that is how they see life, that is also how they experience it.

In short, our experiences are neutral; it is in how we think about them that they become bad or good. Things happen, we judge them as bad, we decide that bad things happen to us, and then more things happen that we judge as bad. Or, things happen, we judge them as good, we decide that no matter what the surface appearances might be, underneath there is good to be found, and then more things happen that we judge as good.

A Meaning-Filled Life

A closeup of pink dogwood blossoms

Pink dogwood blossoms

Does life have meaning? Should it have meaning? Is it better or more realistic to think that everything is random, that we arose out of natural pressures that formed us as we are, with no input from a spiritual level? Is there even such a thing as a spiritual level?

These are all questions worth taking the time to answer for yourself. Here, I am going to assume that you think there is, or at least should be, meaning in life; that the seemingly chance events and encounters we experience have a meaning that we can divine if we take the time to think about them, and to educate ourselves on how to speak the language of meaning. Finding meaning in life can make it richer and more satisfying. Here, I am going to share a few things I have come to believe about meaning, and finding it in your everyday life. I’ll try to keep it brief.

Meaning is Everywhere

I believe that everything is a part of a whole—both the natural world and the human (though I would argue that humans are a part of the natural world); from the microcosmic to the macrocosmic scale. I also believe that everything has some form of life and intelligence to it, and that all things are in communication and, mostly, cooperation with all other things. When we as individuals think or act, we affect everything that is around us. Likewise, all other things also affect everything around them, including we humans.

We interact with all of life as a whole and individually all the time; we can make our interactions more conscious, arising out of a more aware state of mind, by paying attention not only to our interactions, but how those interactions might be part of an intelligent conversation we are having with all of life, and that life is having with us.

Meaning is Not Always Obvious

I used to think that meaning should be obvious. I didn’t expect to exert myself to see it. I now believe that meaning is there, but it is often subtle and easily missed. Not only does it take some effort and self-training to see the meaning in events and encounters, it also takes time to learn the language of meaning.

For example, we can and often do ask for help, but it is so easy to completely miss a message that is helpful because we are preoccupied with other things, or because we expect that message to come to us in a specific form and fashion.

There is an old (but still good) joke about a very devout woman who lived near a river. One day, she saw on the news that a storm was coming and that the river might flood. People were advised to seek safety. The woman told herself that all would be fine if she were to pray to God for help, so she did. Sure enough, the storm came and the waters started rising. That afternoon, the sheriff came by and advised her to get out of her house and move to higher ground. She assured him that she had faith in God, and that she would certainly be safe. The waters started to rise, and her daughter came to take her to higher ground, but again she refused, assuring her daughter that the Lord would provide. As the waters rose, the woman was forced to move to the roof of her house. While watching the swirling waters and continuing to pray for help, she saw someone in a small boat rowing hard against the current to reach her. It was her neighbor Bob. “Climb in,” he shouted above the strong sounds of the still-rising waters. “No, Bob, God will save me!” she responded. Although he tried his best to persuade her, finally the current was too strong and he had to allow himself to be swept downriver to safety. The woman continued to pray. As the waters were rising even further, a helicopter came, lowering a rope, while a rescue worker shouted through a bullhorn for her to take hold of the rope. Once again, the woman refused, saying that God would save her. The helicopter flew away, and finally the waters swept the woman off the roof of her house to her death. Shortly after, in heaven, the woman stormed right up to God and berated him. “I had faith in you! I told all those people that you would save me, that you would provide for me! And yet I died! What happened?” God smiled gently at her in compassion and said, “I more than answered your prayers. I sent you a news report, the sheriff, your daughter, your neighbor, and even a helicopter…”

One of the reasons I like this joke is that it illustrates how we can fail to recognize the help sent us because it is in a different form than we expect. In this joke, the woman was expecting some kind of obvious, God-descending-on-a-cloud miracle, so she ignored the everyday miracles of the help offered by those who knew and loved her. Another concept this joke illustrates is that it is up to us to accept the help we are sent. It can’t be forced upon us.

It is easy to say that if someone came to rescue you in such a situation as the woman was in, you would take that help without question. But what if your problem isn’t so physical? What if you are puzzling over how to resolve an issue with a co-worker or an aunt or friend? What if you have asked for help and guidance, and it just doesn’t seem to be coming? In most cases, I would say that the help has come, but it wasn’t recognized. So how can we learn to recognize the help sent to us?

We Can Learn to More Easily Recognize Meaning

If we expand our expectations, if we allow messages to come to us in different forms, then we can learn to see that help for what it is, rather than dismissing it. For example, let’s say you hear a word or phrase in a song, then again see it on a billboard or in a magazine or book, and then again hear a friend or even a stranger say it. That repetition is a good sign that someone or something is trying to communicate with you. Or let’s say you only hear a phrase once, but it has significance for you. Noticing the repetition or the significant phrase is the first step. The next step is to figure out what it means. Although there are some things that have been around for so long they have universal meaning, there are still nuanced differences for each person even for those things. Also, different cultures sometimes attach different meanings to the same thing, so there isn’t a one-size-fits-all meaning for each event and encounter.

However, you can start to learn the subtle language of meaning in your life by paying attention to the odd things that happen that don’t seem to fit your everyday expectations. Spend a little time thinking about them. Ask for help from the spirit world in understanding those things. Here are some suggestions:

  • If you are the journal-keeping sort, keep a journal. I can usually find clarity and understanding by writing down my questions and thoughts about a situation, event, or dream. From when I was 13 until my early 40s, I kept a journal in which I recorded both my dreams and also what was going on in my waking life at the same time. At first, nothing seemed to make sense. Gradually, I started to realize what the meanings were. Eventually, I learned a lot about my dream landscape and what various items and occurrences in my dreams meant. I also learned that the meaning of some things in my dream landscape seemed to be shared with other people (such as vehicles and dwellings), while other images were quite personal and specific to me.
  • Use your imagination to place yourself in a safe place where you can communicate internally with your own body, a person, an animal, or even an event. In that safe place, ask respectfully for information. This is not the place to tell you how to protect yourself when doing so, though I will recommend that you learn how to create a safe place before trying this sort of thing. (My course on developing your psychic abilities includes a lot of helpful information on creating a safe place and communicating with the spirit world.)
  • Consult with others in your life whom you think are wise or might have insight. Be respectful, and don’t assume they are obligated to help you. Be grateful for any help or insight they offer, even if it isn’t what you wanted or expected to hear.
  • Read books or watch videos about symbols and their meanings; about animals and their meanings; about communicating with nature. Especially, you can find a lot of wisdom in works by Native Americans (but watch out for the pseudo-shamans; trust your gut instinct to help you sort out who is genuine and who is not).

However you choose to go about it, be patient with yourself and the process. Keep thinking and believing that there is meaning in everything, and internally ask for help and guidance from the spirit world.

How To Save Money #14: Buy Quality

Buy quality. Quality lasts.

This doesn’t mean buy the most expensive item, because cost and quality aren’t always directly related. But it does mean to take a good look at what you are buying, and if there is an affordable, better quality, but somewhat more expensive choice, buy that.

Here’s an example: when I was a student living on my own, I purchased the very cheapest vacuum cleaner that I could find; I paid $80 for it. But it broke after six months. I purchased another, which also only lasted six months. This went on for a few years. Finally, I caught on and purchased a vacuum cleaner that cost me $450—about five times as much as the cheap ones were costing me. I had that vacuum cleaner for thirteen years, and it was still going strong when I gave it to my oldest brother. The only reason I replaced it was because I wanted a model with a HEPA filter; I still have that one, it still works perfectly, and it’s been sixteen years since I purchased it. I am sure you can do the math, but I’ll spell it out anyway: $80 every six months = $160 a year = $1,600 every ten years. That’s not counting the sales tax on each purchase. Or, $450 + $600 (the cost of the newer model) = $1,050. Maybe a savings of $550 doesn’t seem that much, but each year that the newer vacuum cleaner keeps going adds to that amount.

 

Favorite e-Card Site

Check it out! For a very modest fee, you can send charming animated greeting cards from JacquieLawson.com, a British Web site. BY “modest,” I mean US$12 for one yer or US$18 for two. Considering how much time and money you save by sending greetings electronically, and the good will you develop by finally remembering that elderly aunt’s birthday, it is a true bargain. And when you send a card, you can give a membership as a gift. (One service that is included with membership is an emailed reminder of birthdays, anniversaries, and other such events.)

I particularly love all the animal- and nature-themed cards, especially the ones with cats and kittens.

And no, I am in no way affiliated with them; I pay my membership fee happily, and am simply happy to share a good find. Try it now!

 

Ten Recent Movies

In reverse chronological order, I’ve recently watched the following ten movies, some of which you may enjoy:

First A Girl (1935). A British comedy about a young woman playing a man playing a woman on stage. A lot of fun; a remake of a 1933 German work, Viktor und Vikoria. Victor, Victoria was a much-later remake of this movie. Favorite line: “I dislike men who make marvelous girls.”

War Horse (2012). A story of a horse in World War I (WWI). I was dubious at first but hey, horses, right? I would watch this again, which is high praise from me; I rarely re-watch movies. Favorite scene: the few moments in no-man’s-land with the wire cutters. Reminded me strongly of Joyeux Noel (2006), which is another WWI movie I’d enjoy watching again.

Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol (2011). The Mission: Impossible team is disavowed and must stop a man from starting global thermonuclear war in order to clear their names. Enjoyable movie, though once the real action started, my heart never stopped pounding. Not sure that’s a good thing. Simon Pegg (who has starred in, among other excellent movies, Hot Fuzz, an all-time favorite) and Jeremy Renner (soon to be Hawkeye in The Avengers) added tremendously to my enjoyment.

A Green Journey (1990). An older Catholic schoolteacher (Angela Lansbury) goes to Ireland to meet a man she has been corresponding with (Denholm Elliot), only to discover that he cannot marry her. Ultimately unsatisfying to my overly romantic heart, despite excellent performances. Yes, I get that Ms. Lanbury’s character grew in an important way in this movie, but still….

Queen to Play (2011). Kevin Kline and Sandrine Bonnaire star in this subtitled French film. Bonnaire’s character, a chambermaid, starts learning chess from the reclusive Kline (who, to my untutored ears, seemed to be executing his French dialog beautifully). Bonnaire’s character, who had set aside her own desires and career for her husband and daughter, insists on allowing herself this one pleasure. Her husband insightfully considers this worse than infidelity.

Blood and Donuts (1995). A vampire movie. Vampirish. With doughnuts. Boya (Gordon Currie), a vampire, goes into hibernation in 1969 because the moon has been spoiled for him now that man has walked on it. Twenty-five years later, a golf ball struck through a window wakens him. And yes, there’s a doughnut shop involved. My friend started snarking before we even started watching it. I think this is intended to be a comedy, and we certainly laughed a lot, but I am not sure we were laughing at what we were intended to laugh at.

My Future Boyfriend (2012). The fact that this is a 2012 movie and it is already on Netflix instant streaming should say all that needs to be said. However, despite a low budget (think Star Trek in the 1960s) and the extreme predictability of the plot, this was light, fluffy fun.

Miranda (1948). Another British comedy, this time about an uninhibited mermaid (Glynis Johns) who catches a doctor (Griffith Jones), then insists he take her to London. There, the doctor and two other men fall under her spell. Surprisingly good; the dialog and acting are remarkably fresh. Because of the times in which this movie was made, I was taken aback at how strongly implied the sex was.

From Prada to Nada (2011). Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility set in modern LA with a Latino family. Enjoyable, as all Jane Austen’s stories are.

Bread and Tulips (Pane E Tulipani) (2000). In Italian with English subtitles. A charming, fun movie about Rosalba (Licia Maglietta), an Italian housewife who impulsively hitchhikes to Venice, then decides to stay there. Bruno Ganz also stars. A sweet, low-key movie. My very favorite scene was with the plumber-cum-private detective (Giuseppe Battiston) when he is found out right after he has fallen in love. As he stands there with only a (very large) pillow preserving modesty, he explains himself and declares his love. The scene is sweet and surprising. I teared up while laughing at the same time.

Transdimensional Existence

Recently, I have been taking a look at crop circles. I am not writing this blog post about them specifically (though I think most of them are incredible pieces of art that are created by something other than humans). Instead, I am writing to share an insight I had while viewing a documentary about crop circles.

In the extras that came with the DVDs of the documentary, one of the people being interviewed was asked the question, how would interdimensional beings make contact with beings in our dimension? His answer was, well, the interdimensional beings would create something based in our dimension, something that also carries with it information about that greater reality those beings reside within.

This got me thinking. I believe that we are all beings existing in multiple dimensions at once, and that we, as we are in this three-dimensional reality (four-dimensional if you count time), are each a manifestation of an aspect of our multi-dimensional selves

Even believing that, I guess I always had this idea in the back of my head that the greater parts of ourselves were kind of busy elsewhere. Not that those parts aren’t unaware of us, because they are, and not that they don’t care, because they do, and even not that they aren’t doing their best to stay in touch with us, because they definitely are! But I always kind of assumed that we aren’t a priority. But thinking about that question, I started to have an image of the interdimensional existences of all of us taking an intense and friendly interest in us, both individually and collectively.

Somehow that idea is deeply comforting to me. I am hoping that it might also be for you as well. Psychic messages I have received recently for various people all seem to be saying that this year especially, trust is important. Thinking or believing that we are all watched and loved by ourselves is one way to increase our level of trust, no matter what is happening in our three-dimensional world.

Learning Japanese

For a number of years now, I have been studying Japanese–sometimes more diligently than others, but I figure if I continue studying, however slowly, things will sink in. Eventually I would love to go to Japan, but my main motivation is that Japanese is on my life list of languages I want to learn.

The teacher I have been learning from is Kiyo Okazaki, one of the best teachers I have ever had the honor to study under. She is smart and dedicated and cheerful and an excellent, encouraging teacher. I first met her through her classes at the Santa Rosa Junior College, which cut its Japanese classes a few years ago. However, the JC is offering classes taught by her through their community education series, and I strongly encourage anyone who has wanted to learn Japanese to sign up. Coming up is the second half of an introductory class; here are the particulars:

 Speak Japanese II

Do you want to be able to carry on a simple conversation in Japanese? This beginning Japanese class follows Speak Japanese I. You will  continue to learn and practice simple building blocks of communication that will prepare you for travelling in Japan, hosting Japanese guests, or just learning to speak. You will not only learn the language but also become familiar with Japanese culture and “the way of Japanese.”  Let’s learn together!

Sect: 9466
Seats Remaining: 38
Tue. March 13-April 24, 6:30 PM-9:30 PM
1592 Emeritus Hall, Santa Rosa Campus
(No class on March 20) Fee: $97.00 (includes $5.00 of materials)
Presented by: Kiyo Okazaki

Web link for course

Santa Rosa JC’s community education Web page

がんばりましょう!

How Mineral Makeup Saved My Complexion

A while ago, I made a post about mineral makeup. At the time, I was just beginning to look into it seriously. I haven’t ever worn much makeup because I have a redhead’s very sensitive skin (yes, okay, my hair is gray now, so the red comes from the graces of henna, but it was natural when I was younger).

But despite my skin sensitivities, I find it fun to play with makeup, and I feel more confident when I wear it. I wish I could consider it more optional; however, society has been influenced by the media so strongly that now, if a woman wears makeup, she is seen as more likable, competent, and trustworthy, and is likely to be paid more. Even worse, if you don’t wear makeup, you might be “…sending signals that you are disorganized, uninterested and unable to cope.”

Sad but true.

But most makeup either feels icky on my skin or is filled with chemicals I don’t want to expose myself to or outright irritates my skin. Even knowing about the career bias, I was just unwilling to compromise my health and comfort.

But then, a few years ago, I started hearing about mineral makeup and was intrigued. The claims for it include that it is much healthier for your skin and not irritating, all of which turned out to be true (but see my later comments about certain ingredients). Mineral makeup is also supposed to help with acne and red skin (rosacea), my personal bane. This sounded good, and after experimentation, trying out different brands and different products, I found that the claims are true.

But I have learned a few things about it–what works and what doesn’t–and am sharing this information with others.

Mineral Makeup Clears Up Acne and Rosacea

One of my first questions was, can mineral makeup help clear up my rosacea? The answer is very emphatically yes. The main ingredients, zinc oxide and titanium dioxide, have anti-inflammatory properties, which helps soothe skin so it is less red. Zinc oxide also has anti-bacterial properties, which is why it can help clear up acne. After two months of using the mineral makeup several times a week, the results are clear and definite. My rosacea is almost unnoticeable even with bare skin. It seems like a miracle. Now, even when I don’t wear it, I feel confident that my skin looks acceptable, and when I do wear it, I feel great about how I look.

Also, most ingredients used in mineral makeup are non-comedogenic; that is to say, they don’t clog pores. Clogged pores can lead to acne, so this is good. (But see my note about talc, below.)

Mineral makeup lasts, both on your face and in the container. For whatever reason, mineral makeup tends to kind of meld with your skin, giving it a lovely, smooth texture that lasts all day and well into the night without touch-ups. Once you put it on, mineral makeup should be good for the day.  Also, if you don’t contaminate your mineral makeup (assuming it is in powder form), it should last in the container indefinitely.

Avoid Bismuth Oxychloride

However, many of the brands on the market contain bismuth oxychloride, which I found by direct experience irritates my skin. When I tried two different brands, both of which contained it (without my knowing it), my skin very quickly started feeling as though a thousand teensy tiny ants were biting me.

Now, you will find some people in the industry saying that “only a very small percentage” of the population, those who are “particularly sensitive,” need to worry about this ingredient, but my way of thinking about it is this: consider people with sensitive skin to be like the canary in the coal mine. The miners may be more robust and not aware of the danger they are in, but they will be just as dead as the canary if they ignore the warning.

Not that I think bismuth oxychloride is deadly, but if it irritates my skin, it might be doing something to the skin of others even if they aren’t aware of it. So I recommend avoiding it. There are several excellent brands that don’t use it, so it is easy enough to avoid. Some brands I have tried and love are L.A. Minerals, Smoky Mountain Minerals, and Erth Mineral Makeup. Physician’s Formula also does not have bismuth oxychloride, but their range of mineral makeup is very limited.

Avoid Talc

Another ingredient that many brands use is talc. Talc is inexpensive and makes a good filler. however, unlike other minerals used in mineral makeup, talc is comedogenic. Also, some people are sensitive to it; I am not, but I avoid it anyway. Again, there are several excellent brands (including the ones I’ve mentioned) that don’t use talc either, so it, too, is easy enough to avoid.

Binders, Liquids, Preservatives, Oh My!

Some major brands have hopped on the mineral makeup bandwagon and have made liquid makeup that they label as “mineral makeup.” It is true that many of the ingredients in mineral makeup have been used in non-mineral makeups for decades. However, the whole point of mineral makeup is that it is a loose, dry powder that doesn’t contain liquids, binders, preservatives, excipients, etc. (Full disclosure here: I wrote that section of that Wikipedia entry, but it is nonetheless true.) Liquids especially mean that preservatives have to be added; it is difficult in the cosmetic world to find a preservative that isn’t at least potentially harmful to your health.

How To Use Mineral Makeup–Tools and Techniques

But how to wear it? My first experiments resulted in a white, powdery face that was the opposite of attractive. Experimentation led to a simple set of tools and techniques.

Tools

The basic tools for mineral makeup is a foundation brush made specifically for mineral makeup. After trying other brands, I have become incredibly fond of the Ecotools line of brushes. Not only are they soft and effective, they are also made from bamboo, recycled aluminum, and synthetic (rather than animal) fibers. And the prices (especially on Amazon.com) are much lower than other brands. I own a powder brush that I use for foundation, an eyeliner brush, and a set of brushes for eyes. I also own the retractable kabuki brush, which I carry with me in my purse. If you are getting an Ecotools set, be sure to purchase the ones made for mineral makeup.

In addition, I have a small, shallow wooden bowl to put the foundation in before I pick it up with my brush, and an even smaller clay bowl my daughter made for me, which I use for blush.

Techniques

This is already a long post, so I will only very briefly describe the techniques that work for me. I discovered by experimentation that I get the very best results from putting a good lotion on a clean face, letting my skin absorb it for 10 to 20 minutes, then putting on the mineral makeup. So my daily routine is to shower, put on lotion, get dressed, and then put on makeup. (My favorite lotion is Shikai’s Borage Therapy Advanced Formula, which gives my dry skin a lovely satin texture without being in any way sticky or heavy. I use it all over, not just on my face.) If your skin isn’t so dry, experiment to see if you can get away without using lotion, or perhaps with using a lighter lotion. But your skin needs some moisture so the minerals will cling.

I first put on a color corrector in places that need it, then put a very small amount of foundation into my wooden bowl. I swirl the foundation brush in the powder, tap off the loose stuff, then dust lightly on my face. If I feel I need another layer, I repeat the process; one of the many nice things about mineral makeup is that you can layer it on as thick as you like. (Though at a certain point it stops looking good.)

Sometimes I use my blush bowl the same way, though often I just use my fingers to apply my blush.

I also use my fingers to apply my eyeshadow. For liner, I sometimes dip my eyeliner brush in water and dip it in the mineral makeup in a tiny sample container I got from L.A. Minerals (which can be refilled from the larger container). Other times I use my fingers to smudge mineral makeup along my upper eyelash line.

I also sometimes put mineral blush over my lipstick to set it and modify the color somewhat. Then I head out the door, ready for the day.

Thank you for reading such a long post; I hope the information was useful enough to have made it worth reading.