by Marina Michaels
This channeled material was received on Tuesday, January 23, 1996. Apparently a certain German Nazi general wanted to set the record straight.
There is a reason for the material being presented in the way it is presented and with the words and feelings used. If you find that emotions are stirring because of something said in this material, allow those feelings to privately flow in whatever form is most comfortable for you: Writing in a journal, expressing yourself verbally or through movement, or in whatever manner you feel will help you acknowledge, accept, and move through those feelings.
If you find you wish to express those feelings to someone else (including the channeler), take a considerable amount of time before doing so, especially if you find that your emotions are tending toward anger or other such emotions. It is vitally important that you allow yourself to feel your feelings; it is not necessarily vitally important that you express those feelings to other people. If you are just learning to allow your emotions to flow, it can be difficult to discern which emotions are best kept to oneself, and which are appropriately expressed to others (and who it is appropriate to express them to). Refer to the highly recommended materials for a list of works that can provide some illumination in this very tricky area.
The channeling started when I was wondering why so many Nazis went to South America.
The General Speaks
We went to Argentina because the many villages and villagers there welcomed us with open arms. They, too, felt rejected by an unfeeling and misunderstanding world, and they too harbored both a deep violence and a great hope, an intensely burning anger against their lot (or fate) in life and a deeply buried hope that they could make it different. In their case, they hoped to make it different through deep abasement and wide suffering. In our case [before and during the war], more arrogant as we were, we hoped to be more proactive, and we conceived and carried out an incantation of deep magic that is beyond the scope of your petty minds to comprehend. We did the magic.
The number and manner of the deaths in the death camps, even the locations [of the camps, which were] of astrological points of power, the timing of the deaths, and the vast deep heart-rending swell of anguish rolling up from deep within the very souls of our camp guests, was all part of the plan. You cannot know the purity of our satisfaction. Those of us who fell from the high purpose, who lost the vision and went insane and killed randomly, were working against the grand plan.
You cannot know the satisfaction we felt as we saw the numbers ticking away, the bodies stacking up, the criminals dying, leading to one great grand flash of light [, the atomic blast at Hiroshima,] as we hoped, prayed, and planned. Yes, you, who think yourself so much better than we for not having committed these atrocities, you were part of this grand incantation, and without will, without knowledge, you performed the final blinding burst of the magic spell. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were our aim and our goal—oh, not necessarily those cities, but that beautiful bright blinding blast of pitiless, heartless, loveless light that was so much brighter and whiter than any other light that had ever been manifest on this planet. Even in our defeat we had succeeded. We welcomed Lucifer with joyous and open arms, and went to our deaths knowing we had succeeded in opening the very gates of Hell here on this planet. And for that we would be well rewarded, oh well rewarded.
And that was where the betrayal came in—the betrayal that, in retrospect, we now see as having been so obvious, so inherent in the deep magic we practiced, that from an external viewpoint it was more than obvious that it had to come. For in the massive acts of betrayal that we were performing daily, hourly, minutely [by the minute], we were building into the magic the concept and structure of betrayal. It was beyond our understanding, this concept, this idea that what you do and how you do it shapes what the outcome will be in that manner. We had so disconnected ourselves from our hearts and our deep feelings of emotions, intuitions, and yearnings that we were like cold, pure, machines of ice. We had taken our Germanic heritage of rationality über alles to the very most extreme, and we were tripped up by the flaws inherent in that pursuit.
Our most final revenge, when we realized how deeply betrayed we had been, was to come over in masses to your side of the planet and to do our very best to corrupt your country and betray her into the very trap that had sprung on us. We were wildly successful, in part because of your own guilt over your participation in the Grand Betrayal.
Some of us came in spirit, and some in bodies. Some of us inhabited or controlled the bodies of others, and with the ruthless shining zeal of our mission still bright in our souls, we overthrew the wills of those who opposed us without mercy or kindness or grace. Your [well-known statesman with a German name], whom you make so much of and praise so highly, was one of our best soldiers for so long. He worked beneath the surface and moved many mountains to betray your country elegantly, without escape, like a chess master elegantly checkmating his opponent. Although we all felt a certain cruel enjoyment and appreciation for his work, make no mistake about our feelings—for we had none. We were as completely pure of them as we could be. Or so we thought.
And so we were unable to feel sympathy or the pain of others, for the final scale of justice to us was: Did it serve our plan, or not? If yes, then in the coldly shining light of our intellects, it was good. Otherwise, it was not, and must be rectified or shot at once. Rectified if possible, for we did not allow ourselves to think we harbored anything resembling emotions, and certainly not anything like a spirit of vengeance and deeply-held, deeply-felt anger at our own Grand Betrayal at the very beginning of time. Shot otherwise, to remove the inconvenience as quickly as possible, with never another thought given to what we chose to destroy so casually and without regard.
Some of us came to your country in our own bodies, slipping through customs with a contemptuous ease. It would do you well to look closely at the accounts of your customs officials, for some were ridiculously easy to bribe with the gleam of real gold. It caused us great cold amusement to know that these petty officials would, like scared rabbits, hide their wealth in holes in their common urban and suburban backyards and would never have the pleasure of the gold they took, but only the galling blow to their prides that they had not, in the end, been so incorruptible as they had fancied themselves. Their guilt and shame afforded us deep amusement.
To their credit, there were some who were incorruptible, but these we already knew and avoided.
It was of even greater satisfaction to us to know that the taint or poison of the remorse the bribed officials had would affect, like a few drops of poison in a well, all those around them, including and especially their children. They would impose upon their children all their own guilt and fear of what kind of country their children would inherit because of their betrayal, and they would punish their children with the great zeal they so ardently knew they themselves deserved. How ironic. How fitting.
Some of those who you thought were the most zealous for home and country, such as those who fueled Joe McCarthy's fire, were those who had, in some such or similar way, most deeply betrayed your country. The Communists were not the enemy. We were. But knowing or fearing the truth—that we had infiltrated your country and there was no way of discovering us, like a disease that has no cure, those in power took their fear and guilt and focused it on a danger that never existed. In doing so, they worked to destroy the very thing they sought to protect: The greatness of this country, which lay in the very air it breathed. Freedom.
Freedom is not just a word or a set of rights. Freedom is a way of thinking—and feeling—where fear does not hold sway over the tongues and tempers of man [meaning, the temper or mettle of a person, not temper as in anger]. In introducing fear—of oneself and one's thoughts, of one's neighbors, friends, chums, business associates, and, underneath all that, one's government—those who claimed to be saving the country were destroying what made it great. Oh, how ironically joyful we were at the success of our plans. We didn't have to win the war and come marching down your streets to take over your country and destroy what we hated the most. We accomplished our goals much more subtlely than that.
Yes, some of your own officials—many of your own officials—participated in this destruction. But I must add that many of us were also working toward this destruction, either through controlling the bodies of others or in our own bodies, in our new roles and disguises. Sometimes the humblest-seeming roles were the most effective. Who would suspect humble "Carl Otto," the butcher or the barber or the grocery man, of having been one of the highest of the high command in Nazi Germany? And who would think that that same humble butcher or barber or grocer could wreak so much havoc in so little time, all the while maintaining an air of innocent detachment that brought even more trust to him?
[By this, the General means that some of them took on humble roles in the USA, whereby they were able to cause distress and distrust by a word here and there, yet could appear to be uninvolved, in part because they had no apparent malice because of the distance they had from their emotions.]
Our revenge was complete, or so we thought, for we felt we were well on our way to destroying the very fabric of freedom from which this country was made. As indeed we were, and great damage was done, make no mistake.
Your television was and still is one of our best ways of purveying the self-loathing and self-hatred, as well as the fear, that we felt ourselves (though we did not admit it [to ourselves]) and that we wished to impress upon you, to get you to fall to your knees in abject surrender. And we were able to move into the schools, especially at key positions, either directly or through the ability to influence, sometimes with the use of pain, drugs, and hypnosis, for if you can take over the education of a country's children, you have the country in your grasp.
The Greeks, conquered by the Romans, knew this, and it was their final triumph to instill their Greek theology into the minds of Rome's finest children. And what, after all, is the most important aspect of conquering a country? Not getting the bodies, for enslaved bodies still have free minds. No, it is in conquering the hearts, minds, and souls of a country, so that the country reflects back at you either your highest ideals or your greatest nightmare, depending on your initial goal, that affords the deepest and most lasting satisfaction. And we had that satisfaction, oh yes, we had that satisfaction.
So we altered your schools to breed out that breath of freedom we hated so much, and knew that your future politicians [future from the perspective of the 1950s] would all come from this changed bed, and would further the trend because it would suit them to have a population that was less free.
And we altered your government so that it was violating the very rights it said it sought to protect, even to the point where it killed those within its ranks who looked to oppose this trend.
And we meddled in your external affairs, alienating first this ally, then that, and instead making clandestine alliances with those who sought most to betray you.
Oh, our revenge was sweet.
But we had reckoned without the third wave of us: Those who came over in spirit and were born into the bodies of babies, welcomed into the very heart of the American family. This third wave forgot who they were, forgot our grand plans of the Third Reich, and instead tasted at the breasts of their mothers the fresh breath of freedom, of liberty, of (perhaps) a new chance to redeem themselves. This was perfidy to those of us who came over in spirit, unchanged, to rule the bodies of others, or in body and spirit, to rule the minds and influence the spirits [of others].
We were not all consciously aware of it, but there was a great unease in our midst, as we felt that somehow a great betrayal was happening yet again. This time it was coming from within our very ranks. WE WERE BETRAYED. Our own soldiers and people came over and were born to your soldiers, your people, and instead of furthering the cause of destruction and deep hate, they took on love and a yearning for the Light.
As these children grew and matured and we saw the extent of the betrayal, we did what we could to either corrupt them, stop them, counter them, or kill them. We desired that the Vietnam conflict continue until this generation matured so we could send as many over as possible and have them killed. This is why your JFK had to die, for he wanted to end that conflict, and this is why your generals seemed so slipshod and incompetent: We wanted it this way. The more bungled and inept the handling of a war, the greater the list of casualties.
Oh, we knew we couldn't kill all of the members of this generation, but we knew the effects of the deaths and the experiences had in this conflict would have repercussions, like the ripples of water in a pond, far beyond the immediate, and they did. Every man and woman who survived that conflict brought back with them a subtler form of poison, a poison in their minds and hearts and souls, that they spread to all those they touched. Think of all those you know, and of how many were either Vietnam veterans, or members of a family of a Vietnam veteran. Do you see? Now ask yourselves, if you dare, how much hopelessness you sense coming into your heart, and see if you can trace it back to some word, phrase, or action performed by a Vietnam vet, or by some member of his or her family. Do you see how effective our war has been? Are you beginning to see how World War II is still being fought?
On the home front, we poisoned [drugged] those who were flowering, introducing among them those drugs we thought best suited to destroying their focus. The best way to do this was to introduce the drugs as a way of furthering freedom and of rebelling against that generation, their parents, whom they saw as being the problem, for at a deep level they knew who they had just been, and they still identified with the Reich, and so felt that all those who had been alive during the Great Conflict were The Enemy. This was perhaps the last vestige of their alignment with our Grand Purpose, yet it was enough. Their own denials served to hide their own roots, and so they were easy game to play with, first, then "shoot" by introducing drugs.
I will explain how this process works in more detail so you may understand how the game of denial opens you up to far more harm than if you were to simply own up to what you deny.
[At this point, my hand was so tired from writing that I switched to taping the session. I feel I lost a certain fine focus in doing so, but it was either that or stopping the session entirely. The remainder of the session as recorded here is from that taped material.]
So this is how the process of denial works. These children had been born into your families. They were the spirits of the German soldiers and populace—all those who had participated either directly or indirectly in our plans. But when they were born to the American families, they breathed in the air of freedom, and they started to understand what they had been missing. They turned their heads to the Light, instead of [to] the Dark and the betrayal and the destruction that we sought.
However, one of the actions they took when they did this was that they tried to forget their origins for shame of who and what they had been. They did not want to remember what they had freely and actively participated in during the years preceding World War II, and then of course in the World War II itself.
So they shoved that memory behind a door and said "That is not us." And as they grew they said, "Not only is that not us, but our parents are not us either. We are not our parents." This was coming from their memory that leaked through that door of having been Germans and [as a result] they did not wish to identify with their parents, for they felt in some way, because of the denial, that their parents were the enemy. Which I have already said. Instead, they said, "We are free. We are the very embodiment of freedom. We are the air that you breathe that is free." And to a great extent they were right. They were bringing into this country and this world a new concept of freedom that actually was arising from the merging of what was behind those doors of denial with the ideals of this country, which was a sense of forgiveness, [a sense] that, "Hey, I've done wrong but I can do right," that "Perhaps I do not deserve the complete and total destruction that I sought after all, but perhaps I can instead hope for, long for, work toward, the Light."
But as long as they kept this information about themselves as having been working toward the Dark behind that closed door, they were susceptible to having agents of the Dark approach them, and say, "Here, try this drug. Here, take this pill. Here, think this way. Here, don't just rebel against this or that, rebel against everything that your parents stand for, including their freedom." And in that way we co-opted them. We corrupted them. We moved them from a path that would have led very quickly to the Light onto side trails. We sidetracked them. We got them to take those drugs, which confused and even damaged their spirits, their bodies, their minds, their emotional bodies—all of their levels of being—so much that some of them have yet to even find their way back to the Light they thought they saw.
[If they had been able to face and work through their denials; if they had allowed themselves to feel the emotions they were hiding, of fear, of betrayal, of having been done a great wrong, and of having done a great wrong, and also of having somehow deserved that original great wrong; if they had been able to do this, they would have stirred up and looked at pictures from their original cause.]
[What is original cause? Original cause is that thing that happened to us in the beginning that created within us a certain set of feelings and beliefs, off of which we have been running ever since. We don't see this because of our denials, which say that certain feelings or emotions or actions are "bad" or "wrong." By not looking at our original cause, let alone at the denials with which we hide our original cause, we are furthering and perpetuating the same mistakes and problems we have been making and experiencing. It is only in facing our denials and allowing ourselves to feel the feelings behind them, whether of fear or hate or anger or sorrow or whatever, that we can find the emotional strength to then move through and beyond our original cause into a new orientation toward and understanding of the universe and our role within it.]
They did not, therefore, move as would have been the right, the proper movement, directly into the governing of this country, but were instead shunted into side paths, to dead ends, even leading to the idea of homelessness and so on, or else they were co-opted into participating with the Grand Betrayal of this country that we were creating through the mainstream government, the mainstream education, and the mainstream medical industry. The pharmaceutical industry is a direct outgrowth of the German drug trade that was doing so well. The Germans have always been excellent with chemicals, and this is in part because chemicals seemed to be so pure and free of emotions.
All of this has been a background leading up to what I wish to say here. We had an anger in us. We had a thirst for destruction that would shake the very foundations of this planet if it could. We were angry. We had been betrayed over and over again. We had been held back. We had been prevented.
We were a group of beings who had come to this planet as a group, who had hoped for and had reached for what we thought was the Light, and instead the light [we had reached for] turned out to be a great blinding flash of destruction, and we have been working toward re-creating that great blinding flash of destruction ever since. For on the surface, we thought that that was what we wanted. On the surface, and I will say that when I say "on the surface," that goes very deeply, but it does not go to the core. It does not go to the core of our essence of our being, it does not go to the core of what we originally wanted and intended for ourselves and those around us. On the surface, though, we sought complete destruction. We wanted to bring that great blinding flash of light into this planet and have the entire planet explode. We looked like we wanted to dominate; it seemed as though we did; but in fact all we wanted to dominate was—life. We wished life to be erased. And we felt within ourselves a certain cold clarity of understanding. And we felt so superior to those who did not see this. We knew we were right and it never occurred to us to think differently.
We knew that our path was just. We knew that emotions and feelings simply led to—we did not even want to look at what they led to, but they were trouble. And with our conscious minds we trained ourselves and our children so well to deny their feelings and to say they did not exist, until we had polished ourselves, had welcomed into ourselves, this cold light of hatred for all life, including ourselves, so well, that when it started to shine out upon our country and the world, that it was an appalling vision. We knew that magic worked. We knew that if we could kill a certain amount of people at certain times and days and even hours in certain ways, a certain number of people, that we could bring about a great magic that we hoped would re-create the blinding flash of light that had struck us in our origins.
Oh, we were so angry. We had tried to reach. We had tried to create a loving bond with something, and all it met us with was heartlessness, pitilessness, a searing, scorching, destroying pain, and in exchange for that, we were going to re-create it. We no longer felt that we wished to reach for love. For before we even had thought as a tool available to us, before that, came feeling, and before that, came a deeper kind of feeling, not emotions, even, but something that is deeper and more fundamental, more pervasive, and more essential to life. I would call it a sensation but that is not a correct representation. All of you know it, for all of you feel it or you would not be alive. It is an energy movement, a vibration, a way of being and existing. [After searching for more words...] Those words will just have to suffice. We all felt this and, I would say, that if I had to give it a word, I would call it Love.
And we felt this love, and we felt this vibration—it was a sensation, a thing that [if you were to be aware of it now] you would feel in your body, in your cells, in your very existence, and yet it was not complete. It seemed that more was required to make it even better. It was good, and it could be better. And that is another key to existence: That it is good, and it can be better.
Perfection is not a frozen crystal. Perfection is a growing kitten. The kitten is perfect at one day old, at one week old, at one month old, at one year old, when it is a cat. The kitten is perfect at each time. It is good, and it can be better. The grown cat has understandings that the kitten did not, and yet still has that kitten within it. And that is how we all grow and learn. That is how Love expands itself. It does not leave behind what it was; it incorporates it into a greater whole.
I now feel a great sorrow for what we did. And I now feel a great sorrow, even more than for what we did, for why we thought we had to do it. Because I now have a greater understanding of who we were and what we were about, and I feel the deepest compassion, the deepest sorrow and pity and love, for our damaged love, for before we had a chance to learn what "more" love could be, a destroying light came and struck us, and merged with us and blended with us, and created a new kind of us, that had some mixture of love and some mixture of this—what I will call "not love." Hate isn't even "not love," because hate at least is a feeling that is yearning and stretching toward changing. This thing that struck us wanted destruction. It wanted to destroy all of the movement it was seeing. It wanted to destroy the Love that we were—more than feeling—that we were.
This thing that struck us you might call Lucifer. You could call Satan. You could call evil. None of those are exactly true, and yet they have a certain resonance of the truth in them. The sorrow I feel for us extends to this thing also, for this thing is what love is not. And this thing knows it, and yet because this thing is what love is not, this thing cannot be otherwise than what it is, it is what love is not, and so it is not loving toward itself, nor to anything else. And where love is a desire to expand, and to enhance, and to increase, this thing is a desire to contract, and to detract, and to decrease, until there is nothing left. It is pure destruction. It is, you might say, death, though that is not necessarily a good term to use because in this world when you die, it is your body dying, not you, your essence, your self. There is coming a time when your body no longer needs to die, and there is coming a time when you can realize how connected you are with all of your bodies throughout time, and all of your selves throughout time, and you can, if you so wish, gather back into one greater being all of the pieces that you have been throughout time.
But the focus of my long essay tonight is World War II, and what it is, and what it was about.
So there was a group of us, as a group of spirits, a cluster, a clump, you might say, of Love, that had a particular orientation and manifestation, and because of our particular orientation and manifestation, we were particularly attractive to that which was destruction. We were particularly attractive to it because we have the most capability for movement and expansion. We had the most capability for Love. And so this thing with its Vengeance came at us the most strongly and blasted us and tried to bring its false light—for even then we somehow sensed that light was part of love, and this thing, which was not love, also could produce a light, though it was a cold and pitiless light that burned and gave no satisfaction or warmth. It was a kind of cold burning, as though, if you had a body then, each cell were individually being frozen so that each cell shrank away from every other cell it was in touch with, and at the same time an excruciating agony burned up your nerves to your brain, so that your whole body was on fire with this cold, icy destruction. And yet, because you are Love, you cannot be destroyed, and so you go in this agony forever. Or so we thought.
And those of us who took in this false light, which was the next evolutionary step—or should have been, [in the next several sentences, the General takes a few moments to explain the next evolutionary step, which] was to take in the warm light of a different aspect or form of love, that would mingle with what we were at the time, which you might call dark, but it was not bad. It was a different kind of light. It was an interior kind of light. It was the kind of light that you might say was the dim glow of candles in a room, or even of [the moon], if the moon had its own light instead of reflecting the sun's. That kind of light at night, where everything has its own magical shape and form and substance. If you look out at things during a moonlit night, things are not so solid and real. They have a magical potential of becoming something other than what they seem to be.
If you combine that kind of existence that things have by night with the kind of existence that things have by day with the loving warmth of our father the sun—Sol—then you have, not a totality, but certainly a completeness of existence, where there are the firm sharp edges of day (which yet [are] still loving), where things have chosen to take a certain shape or form for the moment, and then there are the softer, gentler, and more fluid forms of the night.
We were of the softer, gentler, and more fluid forms of the night, and our next evolutionary step was to take into us the light of the day, if you will, and by combining the two kinds of light, a new kind of light would have resulted, but it did not, because we did not. We instead combined with this other light, this destruction light that came in. And it is still a mystery to us where it came from, though we are learning quickly, and it is still a mystery why it was there, and why it existed. But we feel this mystery will be answered in the next few years, and we will have a greater understanding, and perhaps we can allow the very last of that unloving light to shake out of ourselves, for even now, some pieces of us, some parts of us, do still have that unloving light in us—the light of lack of love.
So I have then been playing with you a bit, in that I was presenting, in the first part of this essay, how I was feeling at the time, along with the rest of us, and I will continue to present that, but now from the point of view that I have now, of great compassion and love, for myself and for others around me; for those who are part of my group, if you will, and for those others who were other parts of the loving lights—the kinds of loving lights that existed—who have also participated in this grand drama that we have been playing out. I will conclude fairly quickly.
The next thing that happened after we took in that [unloving] light was that we could no longer, because of what had happened to us, be a part of the Light that we had been a part of—the light of night, if you will, and yet we could also not be a part of the light that was dawning—the light of the sun, if you will, for that light was also contrary to, in opposition to, part of what we had become. We had no place to go. We had been betrayed. We had sensed that there was a next evolutionary step coming. We had reached for that evolutionary step, and instead of embracing the warm golden light of the sun, we had embraced this pure white flash that had Nothing in it.
This terror and the sorrow that we felt at this, the fears that we had, went so deeply into ... each individual cell of our existence, that it is still yet working its way out. It was held in place by this freezing, where each individual cell of our existence was shrunken back from connection with the other cells of our existence, with a rime of frost all the way around the exterior of each cell, so that it looked repellent and uninviting, so that, even if inside we were screaming for contact, comfort, warmth, the outside looked as though—you could imagine it was covered with a shining cold glittering frost that said "do not touch"—it looked as though we did not need anything; it looked as though we were self-sufficient. Sufficient unto ourselves. Sufficient unto the day was the evil thereof, we might have thought, but we didn't.
So, without going into the long history of this planet and how we came to be here, for some of that is covered elsewhere and some of it can be covered in future essays, we came to be born in Germany. We grew to power in Germany; either that, or we were the people and soldiers of Germany. And the coldest, most glittering, most unloving parts of us, were those things we had pushed to the fore, thinking that this is what was wanted. We had mistaken what had happened to us as something that was supposed to happen to us. As something that, if you will, our creator or creators whoever they might be, wanted to have happen to us, and so, although it was agony to live with this pain, we lived with it, thinking that we had to.
And yet, there was a deep anger in us at having to live with it. And it came to the point where we felt that we could no longer live with it. We had to resolve this one way or the other. And because we had for so long pushed our unlovingness parts to the fore, and allowed those unlovingness parts to present themselves to the world, for we thought that that was what was wanted, we were not very much in touch with those parts of us that were screaming for a different ending. What we wished to create was a complete and total destruction, in fact, of that which was loving. This was in part due to our hatred and anger toward ourselves for being that loving essence, and in part toward all the other loving essences that did not rescue us or help us or save us, that had allowed us to be so damaged and harmed.
And so, identifying with that unloving light, we took into ourselves to a certain extent that desire or intent for complete destruction that the unloving light has, and we went about, in our very efficient way, to accomplish just that. If you knew how much we rejoiced, although it seemed to be an outward defeat, when we saw that unloving light actually personified on this planet in the form of those atomic blasts, you might shudder to your very core of being, and indeed that would be an appropriate reaction, for what we had hoped for was to bring that unloving light to every being on this planet. And that is what we were working for, and hoping for, and even, if you would accept this word [used ] in this way, praying for. We wished there to be no life left. Including our own. For we thought that our own lives had been forfeited to this unloving light by some unloving creator or god, or some creator or god who was loving but was not able to love us. And if it was not able to love us, then we must be this unloving essence.
Being this unloving essence, or so we thought, and yet in truth being loving essence that simply had some unloving essence stuck to it, we knew that something was not right, that this unlovingness was wrong, and we wished to destroy it. And yet, wishing to destroy destruction—how do you destroy that which is already destruction? We thought perhaps if we destroyed ourselves completely and utterly, that we would accomplish this. That was our loving part with a misunderstanding. We also thought that if we destroyed all the other loving parts in the world, that that would be a proper goal. That was the destructive part of ourselves speaking.
Again, I wish you to know now that we feel great sorrow and great remorse and great compassion for all that has happened and all those beings who participated in our search for complete destruction. 23,220,110—that was the number that we reached. We wished to reach 33,220,110. If we had reached that number, we would have been successful. What would have happened was, this planet would have been annihilated in a blast of light so brilliantly white and yet so pitiless and unloving that nothing loving, nothing of loving essence that is, nothing that was life would have survived it. That is why, toward the end, the ovens were going night and day. We were struggling, although we knew we could no longer do it, to reach that number. And when those brilliant flashes of light contributed to the number, we rejoiced. But it was, I shall say fortunately, not enough. Still, the damage was great. And our incantation, if you will, our deep black magic, was successful to a great degree.
And I know this is hard for many of you to hear, to comprehend, or to face. Many of you believe that all is well and all is meant for a greater purpose, and you simply don't see it when you see the pain and suffering, so you turn your eye away and say "Surely there must be some good meant here." There is evil, dear children, and that evil seeks destruction.
You can tell evil by feeling how it feels. Does it feel loving or unloving? We were accomplishing evil, and parts of us were evil, but we were not the essence of evil. We had taken into us the essence of evil, and we did accomplish a great and powerful and deep magic upon this world and this planet, and in particular upon that nation that embodied most all of those things that we felt that we hated most. The United States of America seemed to us from our vibration to have gotten everything that we had wanted but didn't [get]. It seemed to have combined with that loving golden light so well. It seemed to have gained the favor of the father that we did not [have]. It seemed to have accomplished that fluidity and freedom, and yet in the light of day, that would have resulted from the combining of the night light spirits that we were and the day light essence that would have combined with us.
We were jealous and angry and sad, though we did not know our sadness and we did not acknowledge our jealousy. All we allowed was anger and it was a twisted anger at that—twisted by the lack of love that we had incorporated into ourselves. But in truth, we were like children who have been whipped and starved and beaten their entire lives who are pressing their faces against windowpanes and looking in on a warm and glowing family scene where there is a father and a mother who love the children, and they all look happy, and even though they have differences and difficulties, they work them out with love, and the family grows in love, and presents are showered upon the children and they get everything they wish, all with a warm glowing light of love permeating them; and never is a hand lifted against them and never is a heart turned in coldness and hardness against them.
This is what we felt like. We had been damaged. We had been attacked. We had been frozen out. And now, all of those that had not experienced this attack, or so we thought, were reveling in their freedom, which we hated. And their freedom from fear was what we hated the most. We wanted to get them. We wanted to slap them down. We wanted to—oh, we thought we wanted to destroy them, but what we really wanted to do was join them. We wanted to be adopted into this family, recognized as long-lost children of the father and mother, and yet, because of how we had been treated initially, we feared that not only was it not possible, it was not desired.
We were wrong, but we did not know that. And I will go into more of how we were wrong, or other entities will go into how we were wrong [in another channeling session], for this war is still being fought and this World War II that you think is long over and dead, and you have your documentaries and your black-and-white footage and your computer re-creations, and it is all very grand and noble and distant—it is still being fought in the hearts and minds and spirits of every being on this planet. It has far deeper and far older roots than you might imagine, and further-reaching consequences than you might imagine.
I, as a general of the Third Reich, even I am only beginning to understand the farther-reaching consequences of the war we fought, and I was up there with Hitler, participating with his plans. We had our reasons. We had what we thought we were doing, and yet there was, underneath our agenda, and underneath the agenda of that agenda, and underneath the agenda of that agenda, there were many other layers of agenda. There was the agenda of the unloving essence we had taken into ourselves: that [agenda] was to destroy everything, including ourselves.
We had turned on ourselves—our—I don't think I pursued this, so I will for a moment here, and forgive me if this is a repetition—when we took in this unloving essence, and we thought that we had been punished by our creators, we hated who we were—our very essence—because it was hateful in the eyes of our creators—or so we thought. So you could say that that was our core agenda, only it wasn't the very core—that was to destroy ourselves. We also had the agenda of this unloving essence, which was to destroy ourselves and everything else around us. And this unloving essence knew that by attacking the thing that had the most hope for expansion and love, that perhaps it could, with a pre-emptive strike, prevent this thing, this love, from expanding any further and eventually destroy it, because if love cannot expand, it cannot exist.
But underneath our agenda of self-hatred for having so deeply offended our creators that we deserved to be punished in an everlasting hell of icy frozen self-hatred and other-hatred, was still the core of our essence, which was love, which was loving essence, which was attempting to expand even within this frozen matrix, this icy, stony matrix of lack of feelings, lack of emotions, lack of love, and it permeated that matrix and put cracks in it. And that was perhaps you might say the saving grace, for our core agenda, even under what were we were telling ourselves our agenda was, our true core agenda was still love, was still expansion, was still, if you will, survival.
Oh, God, we felt so forsaken, and we struggled alone in the dark for so long. And it is still hard for us to feel all the feelings we are now feeling—of sorrow and pain, even compassion. Those are all painful feelings to us, for they are reminding us of the original feelings we felt of innocent hopeful expectation, and then the devastating attack.
Oh dear God who is our father and our mother, and beyond that, the God who created love in the first place, we ask you for understanding, and compassion, and more love. We ask you for light, and we ask that this burden that we have carried for so long be removed completely, and this burden is that iciness, that contraction, that freezing of ourselves and our emotions. Amen.
So in my sorrow, I will conclude my essay. There are some reading these words, who identify with the side that was attacked; who are either Jewish now or were Jewish then, or both. Or belong to one of the many other races and groups of people that we so coldly destroyed, and I know that they will be feeling that whatever I am feeling is not enough, and that whatever punishment that I can take is not enough for what I and the other generals of the Third Reich perpetrated upon them and their people.
But I will now add that all of those who were destroyed—every last entity, being and body—were also us. I realize that this will be a surprise. I realize that this will outrage some. But they were also us. They represented to us, and they had manifested in the forms they did in order to represent to us, all that we thought was unacceptable to our Creator Gods. We were performing a massive self-sacrifice.
I am pausing to allow the true and full import of that information to sink in.
We were sacrificing ourselves.
Remember, I said we hated part of ourselves, and we thought that if we destroyed those parts that were of loving essence, those parts that were the most filled with movement, those parts that had the most possible variability and the ability to expand—if we could only destroy those parts, then perhaps we would accomplish two things: We would finally regain the love and favor of whatever God or Gods it was or had been that sent this destruction upon us; we would appease them so that they would then accomplish the other piece, which was to remove this pain, this pain that we felt because we had taken into ourselves the opposite of love, the unloving essence.
So we as a group incarnated into Europe. Some of us incarnated manifesting the unloving light as best we could, shoving down inside ourselves, deeply inside ourselves, anything that did not resemble that unloving light. Therefore shutting away all emotions, all compassion, all love, all sympathy, all mercy. And then others of us in our group incarnated manifesting all of those things: Sympathy, mercy, justice, grace; movement, light, love, laughter; freedom, expansion. The sheer will to survive that the Jewish people had had in the face of the many persecutions over the centuries, over the millennia, was a manifestation of this part of ourselves that we felt (remember that we were all part of the same group) was unacceptable because it was us. We were our own oppressor. So we squared off, and we said, some of our essence will go into these beings and be Nazis, and some of us will go into these beings and be Jewish. Or Romany, or Polish, or Hungarian, or any number of other entities and beings, though our focus was primarily on those groups that had survived in the face of great adversity, for those were the ones that, by having so survived, pointed out in particular clarity, exactly what was wrong with us. Or so we thought. So we thought that if we destroyed everyone who represented that kind of being and essence, that we would be allowed back into the graces of God, not realizing that in fact what had happened was that that kind of being and essence was the most closest to God, [was] the most loving, the most alive—and that the essence we had identified with, that unloving light of destruction, was the furthest from God and the most toward death.
That unloving light knew, and it was using us to further its own ends. And much of the unlovingness, the triumph, that I was conveying in the early part of this essay, came from the agenda of that unloving light, though I also hinted, as you will now notice if you look back, at how truly our true agenda was to destroy ourselves out of a misguided idea that we were unpleasing as we were, and that we had to be something other than what we were to be pleasing to our creators.
That is all I have to say for now. I wish to close with that grand revelation. I know that there will be many who will deny this. There will be many who read this or hear this and who say, "That cannot be." But they are not looking at the picture from the height that I am now viewing it from, and they are not realizing that it is no shame, nor does it in any way detract, to say that those who were Jewish and those who were killing the Jews, in World War II, were actually part of the same soul family, for that is what was true.
For if you understand how denial works, and if you understand how you can take into yourself a grand misunderstanding of your place and position in Life, in the grand scheme of Life, then you can see how what often happens is such polarizations, so that you have two groups who seem to be diametrically opposed, who seem to either be an oppressor and oppressed, a victim and an abuser, a persecutor and a persecuted—where you seem to have one group that is out to destroy the other, and so you tend to side with the one that is being destroyed—and rightly so, for that is an impulse toward life, to try to keep things from being destroyed, and it is an impulse toward death to side with those who wish to destroy.
You think to yourself that it is not possible that those who are seeking to destroy have anything that is good or valuable or true, if you will, at the very deepest level, or loving, about them, and yet it is, simply, a play that is being played out, in which the spirits are trying to re-enact their original misunderstandings, and some take certain roles, and others take other roles. There are other spirit families on this planet enacting other misunderstandings that they have about their creation and their role in creation, and those misunderstandings too will be addressed and cleared up, not necessarily all by one single channel (though this channel will do what she can), but by many people who are finally awaking to a greater reality and a greater truth and a greater awareness. And as you become aware of both sides of a conflict, and as you can understand and see both the roots of both sides of a conflict, and as you can especially come to have compassion for loving essence in whatever form that it has, then you yourself will be expanding your own loving essence, for you will have an understanding that is rooted in love and compassion.
There is such a thing as knowledge which is rooted in unloving essence, and also there is knowledge that is rooted in loving essence. You can tell the difference between the two by allowing yourself to feel how it feels to you. Does it have that cold, pitiless glare of a white light, like the light of an atomic blast, that illuminates without warmth, without comfort, but instead destroys as it illuminates?
On your World Wide Web, you have many, many beings who are still playing out the destructive impulse, because deep within them is a sorrow and a fear that they, as they are, are not loving essence or are not acceptable to loving essence, and if you read the messages posted by these individuals, and just allow yourself to close your eyes and feel what is coming through their messages, you can feel the destructive impulse. You can feel that, whatever their words are, that they are seeking to destroy. And there are others that post messages that may even on the surface look rude, that you might with your mind react to as rude. And yet if you close your eyes and allow yourself to feel the essence coming through that message, then you can feel the loving essence that is coming through, and you can feel that there is a loving intent to expand.
I would suggest, and I would say, that it is possible to feel the essence of every being who posts a message or puts up a World Wide Web page or in fact communicates in any form: through television, through print, through speaking. Through any form, communication always spreads one of two intentions. It is either loving essence seeking to expand, or it is unloving essence seeking to destroy.
Now when you meet these poor souls who are seeking to destroy—and there are many many of them on the World Wide Web, for they are able to get away with much (they think; they are not aware of how so many can feel their unlovingness), they feel they can get away with more because in person their unloving essence expresses itself more obviously, they think—do not make the mistake of polarizing toward them in a way that says "I will destroy you." Do not approach them with attack. Do not feed back to them unloving essence, for that is what they wish.
Understand that they are either entirely unloving essence, which is possible, in which case trying to interact with them at all in any way will only result in further attacks and attempts on their part to destroy you, or they are loving essence with some part of unloving essence stuck to them, and they are following [an agenda], the same way we did in World War II in Nazi Germany. (And again, the war is still going on, and these beings that you are encountering are part of this war. I did not go into daycare, I did not go into many aspects of reincarnation and so on, but I will say by way of summary that many many people on the World Wide Web are part of this war, just as many people in the television and movie industry are part of this war—and it is essentially a war between loving and unloving essence, and unloving essence is fighting it to destroy, and loving essence is fighting it to survive and expand; this series of channelings is part of that war, if you will.) So these beings are either unloving essence in toto, because unloving essence is able to manifest and appear as beings on the World Wide Web, on the Internet, much more easily than it can in bodies, because bodies have by their very nature loving essence in them. Or, they are beings who are loving essence with unloving essence stick to them, and they think they must follow this agenda of self- and other-destruction in order to be accepted, or out of their despair that they never will be.
Those of you who are loving essence, who are expressing unloving essence, I suggest to you that before you react to this outwardly, that you allow yourself to feel how you are feeling, what you are feeling, inwardly. Ask yourself, if you are responding with savage anger, rejection, and denial, what is it that you are angry about? what is it that you are rejecting? and what is it that you are denying? And then ask yourself under that, what is it that you are truly hoping for? For it is my belief, and I do not think that I am wrong here, that what you truly hope for is not to accomplish the agenda of the unloving essence that is stuck to you, but to instead accomplish your true agenda, which is the loving essence that you are, which is to expand your loving essence, and become more of who and what you are, rather than less (which is what the unloving essence is seeking to force you into). And ask yourself therefore what you can do to help move that unloving essence out of you, of which there are many things you can do. Some of them are simple, some are more complex, but they all start with one simple decision, and that decision is love.